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Comparing Yourself to Other People?

How to un-despair when compare.

Comparing yourself to other people is exhausting and often discouraging. 

People may give you advice to just unfollow, unsubscribe, stop the thoughts in their tracks, think “positive”, or focus on all the things that make YOU great…

But it’s not always that easy to turn the beat around when you find yourself comparing to other people!

And sometimes glossing over the experience can cause it to keep popping up again and again and again, rather than teach us to work through it and move to a more productive place. 

In this episode, I get into how we can move through it when we’re stuck comparing ourselves to other people and turn down the noise of comparison in a way that allows us to acknowledge and feel it, take action if needed, and bless and release. 

I don’t want you to compare yourself to other people. I certainly don’t want you to swim in the pool of comparison, and I’m going to help you reframe it! 

In this Episode: 
  • A personal story about a recent “compare and despair” moment
  • What I learned about comparison and the information it can provide 
  • How to overcome and move through comparison with grace, compassion, gratitude, and action 
  • 3 Ways to reframe when you compare yourself 
  • 7 Ways to turn down the noise of comparison 
  • And more! 
6 Steps for when you start comparing yourself to other people: 
  1. Recognize it: Become aware of when you’re engaging in comparison. Pause and acknowledge it (without judgment or shame). 
  2. Feel your feelings. It’s ok (and highly normal) to get stuck in comparison, so allow yourself to feel how you feel. Vent about it with a friend. Journal on it, cry, whatever that looks like for you. 
  3. Shift into gratitude for YOU, your life, and your business. Get really into it, “Oh my gosh, this is amazing! Why would I ever want to be someone else or step into their shoes?” List everything you love about your life. You might want to include elements of your personality. Be grateful for who you are. The real you!
  4. Focus back on your journey and timeline. Celebrate where you are on your journey and how far you’ve come. Reflect on all you’ve achieved thus far. Your progress, goals, achievements, and growth. No matter how small – celebrate it all! 
  5. Unpack the lessons comparing yourself taught you this time around. Reflect on what you can learn from this experience. Comparison can shine a light on what’s important to you, where you want to go, where you might need to motivate yourself a little more or take a new action. Comparing doesn’t have to be endless despairing. It’s a normal emotional response and can give you a lot of information. 
  6. Take action. You might want to unfollow or unsubscribe. Your action might be to finally update your bio which you’ve been telling yourself you would for months and still haven’t… or hire a website copywriter to help you identify what makes you unique. Take an action and carry on! 
7 Ways to Turn Down the Noise of Comparing Yourself to Other People
  1. Curate your social feeds so they’re uplifting and inspiring vs. triggering comparison. Cutting down on social media use altogether can help too! 
  2. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with compassion.
  3. Set realistic goals and expectations for yourself in life and business. 
  4. Remember people are putting their BEST foot forward on social media and online. Have realistic expectations based on that knowledge.
  5. Focus on your personal growth, journey, and the road you’re on. Set your own pace and go at it with confidence.
  6. Find friends, family, or a coach or therapist you can talk to! It can help lighten the burden of these feelings and provide you with outside perspectives.
  7. Celebrate others success. Their success doesn’t mean you’re less successful, worthy, and awesome.
Additional Resources: 

Life’s Enough – Stop Comparing ZenHabits.Net Article

About Me:
I’m Emily Aborn, Content Copywriter, Speaker, and Podcast Host of Content with Character and She Built This. Since 2014, I’ve had experience running brick-and-mortar as well as online businesses. I’ve worked with 100+ industries as a copywriter, and help my clients write original copy and content they can feel confident in. For fun, I love nerdy word games, reading, listening to podcasts, and hiking in the woods with my husband, Jason, and our dog, Clyde.

Email: emily@emilyaborn.com
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